doing the pigeon

As is their routine, the wife and the boys check on the bird first thing in the morning. Then they report back any interesting facts. These facts often include things like "bird" "egg" "nest" and "Hi!!". This morning's report was no different.

Imagine my surprise, please, humor me and try to feign surprise, when I checked on the little brood this morning only to find the nest EMPTY. Well, not empty, really, the eggs were still there, but there was no parental unit in sight. I took a few deep breaths, someone just went out on a coffee run or something, it's fine. Forty-five minutes later, I had checked that nest so many times even the boys had bored of it, but still, just the eggs.

I peeked outside to check the weather - and, yes, the most accurate way to gauge the weather is by opening the A/C slip and checking the weather in and around the nest - and that's when I saw her. Momma bird, on the ledge across the street. Waddling back and forth, putting on some show like she was looking for a nice worm, but I could tell, I recognized that look in her little orange eye - she was WATCHING me. SHE was watching ME. The tables had turned.

For the next thirty-seven minutes or so we engaged in a sort of dance. I pulled open the slip cover, she snorted at me like a riled up bull. I drew back the shades, she bobbed her head back and forth as if to say, "I can still see you, woman." Eventually I gave up, or one of the boys had the other one in a full nelson and a referee was required, but when I made it back to the slip, she was sitting on the nest, like nothing had ever happened.

In this game of chicken, the pigeon won.